short dialogue assignment

“CUH-LAIRRRRE!” squealed a high pitch voice from a tall, thin blonde across the produce section.
“CLAIRE BEAR, I can recognize that walk from a mile away! Get that cute little ass over here and give me a hug!”
I did not respond. I acknowledge my Aunt Lisa’s greeting with a half-assed smile. When she wrapped her boney, lotion tanned orange arms around me I couldn’t help but cringe. That stuff always smells like fake coconuts mixed with insect repellant.
“Hey Aunt Lisa. I see you’ve been using lotion tanner lately. Smart move, you know how those UV rays will get you.”
“Oh honey, aren’t you the sweetest thing! Always looking out for others. You’re so much like your mother, god rest her angelic little soul!”
Clearly my Aunt had yet to understand sarcasm. I couldn’t make eye contact with this woman. I wanted so badly to be nice and sincere with her but I just could not bring myself to it. It was times like this I was glad my mother was not around anymore, she would have scolded me and made that face she always used to make when I acted “this” way. The one where she tilts her head down and to the side, lifts her eyebrows slightly, closes her eyes for longer than a blink and bites her bottom lip. Damn I miss my mom.
“Yeah. All right, well it was nice seeing you. Dad has me doing the groceries now so I really better get through this list. My algebra homework won’t do itself you know.”
I was just about to push my cart of junk food away (I lied, my dad made no list) when I heard her the click clacking of heels come after me.
“Where do you think you’re going pretty lady?”
“I have to finish shopping Aunt Lisa. I have homework.”
“Oh spare your favorite Aunt a few minuets! Tell me about your life. Oh to be young again! Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Any boys you like?”
“No. My high school is full of morons. My cat has more of a brain than any of them do.”
“Oh sweetie you have to stop hanging out with your cat and get some real human friends.”
“I have friends.”
“Just no boyfriend?’
“No. No boyfriend.”
“If you like girls that’s totally fine too! My friend Caroline has one of those lesbian daughters. I could get her number if you would like…she’s kind of manly looking…if you’re into that kind of girl and all…”
She trailed off as she rummaged around her knock off designer Coach bag for her rhinestone encrusted cell phone. She did it herself, an action in which she was for which she was far too proud.
“I am not a lesbian Aunt Lisa. I just do not have time for a relationship.”
“Looks like your don’t have time for that hair of yours either! Come on baby girl, let’s go to the cosmetic aisle. There must be something there to help us out with that bird nest on your head! No wonder that cat likes you so much, probably thinks a little robin’s nest is sitting on your head!”
“Look Aunt Lisa, I would love to stay and chat but I really need to get these errands done. Dad is kind of a mess at home, you know with mom and all, and he really needs me. You can give me makeover another weekend. Promise.”
I felt bad for playing the dead mom card but I had to. Sorry mom.
“Oh sweet you are so right! My little Claire Bear is woman of the house now! I totally understand. I felt the same way when my first husband left me., and the second.”
“I just knew you would understand.”
“I will see you later then for our makeover date! Tell your dad I say hello. Friend me on the Facebook!”
“Alright Aunt Lisa, I will.”
She blew air kisses to me as I pushed my cart as far away from hers as possible. She did get one thing right though, I was a lesbian. A big one, and my girlfriend just so happened to love my hair just the way it is- bird nest and all.